2005 (revisit once referance piece is recovered)

this will be the child of my
never-mind,
the child of my
eyes closed, my head turned, my
feints of involvement
this child will be more than my
happenstance, my bad-luck, my mistake,
misfortune, no
this will be the child of my misplaced purpose,
of my bad intent, of my lips burning with a lie.

this will be the baby that I cannot keep

the trap hidden in an easy out, the child of my
last night? or was it
yesterday? the child of my "back when"
this will be the soul self buried, my baby- oh baby-
the child of my no-chance, you will be the baby of my
never-was.

you will be the world that i never shared
the prayer i never uttered
the tears never shed, the skin
never flawed
the smile that never meant much
you will be the blood and tissue i shall
try to pass as stone-

you will be the baby
that I cannot keep.