the short list of things i should not be allowed to participate in/ be around/ think of whilst intoxicated/ under the influence of thousands of freakish nanobots and their maniacal nanobot ways.
- dial a phone, use text messaging on a phone, ask to borrow a phone, look at a phone, or (and this only happened once) place the phone in a warm and familiar yet wholly inappropriate place. Especially when its not my phone, and MORE especially, when it does not have the "vibrate" feature.
- access to the internet, more specifically myspace or one of my gazillion other social networking profiles, more specifically the blog/comment/email functions of the aforementioned sites. I can only have access to free porn sites, illegally streamed Gilmore Girl episodes, and Google Earth, cos, well, whoa.
- falling down the stairs
- falling down a grass slope
- falling down on the sidewalk
- making sand angels on soccer fields
- stealing industrial rakes and then hiding them in Bryan's closet
- Tanya's boobs
- Talking
- "Whispering " (read: screaming in a sotto voice) graphically dense and morally questionable- nigh- repugnant "sweet nothings" while on a bus, in a cab, or while ordering further libations.
- Pots and pans
- Knives
- Scarily large women I think I could "win a arm wrestling match" against.
- Unsupervised dancing
- Hotel rooms with cd players and Otis Redding cds
- the phrase "I'm so funny when I am drunk".
- Canada
I am sure there are a multitude of others. Feel free, gracious public, to edit or offer amendments to this list as you see necessary, for I am forever at your mercy, and the mercy of a legion of "scientists" hell bent on inflicting their "cult of robot" all up in this bitch.
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